Dream Theater: The Comedy Convention

Image from Thrillist.com/Doug Roberts/iO Chicago

There was this big comedy convention in Chicago, with classes and shows and lots of funny people. And I was in some of those shows, and really killing it as the comedians like to say.

I hadn't been doing improv long, but I was showing a lot of promise. It came easily, just being a slightly exaggerated version of myself. People were loving it.

And as it turned out, Ted B____ was there, too.

We'd been roommates shortly after I finished college. Ted was one of the funniest people I ever knew. But he could also be trouble. He was an admitted pathologic liar and sometimes petty thief, whose biggest talent might just have been getting whatever it was he wanted.

So while I was surprised and happy to see him--it had been a long time--I was also wary. And as it soon turned out, with good reason.

"I need $20," he said. He'd come here to see me, he said, and now he was out of cash. Surely I had it on me.

I told him no. I doubted he really needed the money, and if he did, chances are it wasn't for a good reason. When he persisted, I sent him away.

Besides, my next show was coming up shortly.

When I got to the theater a lot of famous funny women were there. Tina Fey. Amy Poehler. Kristin Wiig. And Karen Y____, a mutual friend of Ted and I, who'd made somewhat of a name for herself in Chicago entertainment as well.

I said hello to Karen, who I hadn't seen in many years. I told her I'd seen Ted not too long ago.

She just looked at me with this strange blank expression, so I continued, telling her about Ted wanting money, and wasn't that just like him?

"Ted's not here," she finally said.

"He is," I told her. "You didn't know? You haven't seen him yet?"

"He can't be here," Karen said. "Ted's been dead for over twenty years."